I'm on your side. I have four children/stepchildren, all of whom have young families. I don't think any of them go around proclaiming doom and gloom - and mostly they don’t let the more sordid aspects of the world intrude on their lives. But, from what I can observe, they pay attention to their children. They don’t hover or cocoon, just attend, which allows them to have a heads-up when things appear to be going off track or changing in unexpected ways. They also check with others (us, friends, school teachers etc) to test their take on what might be happening. So I am pretty confident they will be well placed respond in ways I think will work for their kids. No guarantees in this world, but I think the odds are on their side.
If I may offer my two cents, and maybe that's all its worth, there is a great deal of pressure to conform. To think right, to be right, to fit in. Of course it's always been like this. But we're reaching toxic levels.
“We are contributing to that hopelessness among our youth — the only ones who stand a chance of saving us all from the messes we’ve made.”
This is a sentiment I’ve heard my whole life and never understood. Why is it the responsibility of children to fix the messes adults have made? Whether it’s cleaning up the environment or social justice, it’s unclear why they’re better suited to fix things they didn’t break. I understand the optimism of youth, but that doesn’t have to degrade with age and older people are better equipped with the resources and networks to make meaningful decisions than children are and most of us don’t rise to the occasion. I think that’s along the lines of the point you’re making here, but something about that sentence unnerved me.
You know what, Katie? You're absolutely right. Which in this case means I was absolutely wrong. I think my intent with that line was to highlight the capability of the rising generation, not their responsibility. Because you're right. It's not on them to fix our messes. It's on us to fix our messes, and that includes the messy pessimism (messimism?) that's become so pervasive.
There's much to be said about what we model as parents for our kids. You're on point with the amount of fear we can impart on our kids not just from our words, but simply from our emotional states, which children are highly sensitive to. This reminds me of a Invisibilia podcast I recently listened to: https://www.npr.org/programs/invisibilia/377515477/fearless
I like your position on the conversation around gender affirming care (a term I wasn't even fully aware of until reading this post). My immediate thought came down to a key fundamental: accepting a person for who they are and who they want to be. Letting them be and helping them discover their own truth - through whatever journey they are choosing to experience. The more we try to impose our own ideals and value systems on others, it approaches its own form of violence.
And Taylor, thank you so much for subscribing to and recommending my publication! It really means a lot. I couldn't find a way to DM you through this platform, so I'm posting my thanks here! <3
You know, Jeremy, I resonated so much with the phrase "key fundamental." And the funny thing about key fundamentals like that is that they not only make us kinder to other people, they also selfishly make our OWN lives easier. It's so much easier to not have to determine who to accept and when. And instead just start from a place of letting them be who they are and discover their own truth. Thank you!!
I love this. It's exactly what parents, like me, need to keep in mind. My twin sons are 21. I'm grateful that they're still alive--my older brother died just before turning 21. And I hear you on the negativity that surrounds them both in liberal circles and in society at large. There's enough to fear without parents' adding to it. In parental solidarity, I am, sincerely yours, Anita Thanks!
Anita, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts — especially considering how deeply personal they are. You really nailed it: there's enough fear. More doesn't serve us.
Totally understand where you’re coming from. I have 3 young adult sons all still living at home. None of us watch or listen to the news anymore. We hear about what we really need to know through others. (We are not unaware) There is way too much emphasis on the bad stuff that’s happening and nowhere near enough being shared about the good stuff happening (on mainstream media) I now get a paper called The Happy News by Emily Coxhead for my fix of positivity and optimism
Tracey I love this! And I'm definitely going to look up "The Happy News." I don't think that limiting our intake of negative information, particularly when it doesn't inform or serve us, makes us unaware. Traditionally, the sharing of news was about keeping community's safe — we told each other where the water could be found and where a poisonous snake was hiding. But once we know where the snake is, constantly screaming about it only serves to make us fearful — not more informed.
Taylor, I'm so happy I found this Substack. I really love what you're saying here. My wife and I were talking about whether or not we wanted kids before we got married. She wants kids, but has this nagging feeling that bringing a human being into this world might be cruel, because we're headed for ruin in her eyes. She is INSANELY smart, well-educated, and grew up in a hellscape of her own in Mexico. I don't blame her for having this view of the world, but I'm firmly on the side of being optimistic because if we lose our optimism, we are most certainly doomed to destroy ourselves in some form or another. We watched Interstellar recently and I love that quote from Cooper "We used to look up at the sky and wonder at our place in the stars. Now we just look down, and worry about our place in the dirt." I'm subscribing, Taylor. Thank you for lending useful messages to the world!
I'm on your side. I have four children/stepchildren, all of whom have young families. I don't think any of them go around proclaiming doom and gloom - and mostly they don’t let the more sordid aspects of the world intrude on their lives. But, from what I can observe, they pay attention to their children. They don’t hover or cocoon, just attend, which allows them to have a heads-up when things appear to be going off track or changing in unexpected ways. They also check with others (us, friends, school teachers etc) to test their take on what might be happening. So I am pretty confident they will be well placed respond in ways I think will work for their kids. No guarantees in this world, but I think the odds are on their side.
What more can we do but try to put the odds on the side of the next generation? Love your thoughts as usual, Marty
If I may offer my two cents, and maybe that's all its worth, there is a great deal of pressure to conform. To think right, to be right, to fit in. Of course it's always been like this. But we're reaching toxic levels.
You're absolutely right. And we need divergent thinking — focused and ethically founded divergent thinking — to move us toward a worthwhile future
Thanks Taylor. No matter our thinking, we all share the same ethics. We all want a better society for everyone. Or at least we say we do : )
I was onboard until this last bit
“We are contributing to that hopelessness among our youth — the only ones who stand a chance of saving us all from the messes we’ve made.”
This is a sentiment I’ve heard my whole life and never understood. Why is it the responsibility of children to fix the messes adults have made? Whether it’s cleaning up the environment or social justice, it’s unclear why they’re better suited to fix things they didn’t break. I understand the optimism of youth, but that doesn’t have to degrade with age and older people are better equipped with the resources and networks to make meaningful decisions than children are and most of us don’t rise to the occasion. I think that’s along the lines of the point you’re making here, but something about that sentence unnerved me.
You know what, Katie? You're absolutely right. Which in this case means I was absolutely wrong. I think my intent with that line was to highlight the capability of the rising generation, not their responsibility. Because you're right. It's not on them to fix our messes. It's on us to fix our messes, and that includes the messy pessimism (messimism?) that's become so pervasive.
There's much to be said about what we model as parents for our kids. You're on point with the amount of fear we can impart on our kids not just from our words, but simply from our emotional states, which children are highly sensitive to. This reminds me of a Invisibilia podcast I recently listened to: https://www.npr.org/programs/invisibilia/377515477/fearless
I like your position on the conversation around gender affirming care (a term I wasn't even fully aware of until reading this post). My immediate thought came down to a key fundamental: accepting a person for who they are and who they want to be. Letting them be and helping them discover their own truth - through whatever journey they are choosing to experience. The more we try to impose our own ideals and value systems on others, it approaches its own form of violence.
And Taylor, thank you so much for subscribing to and recommending my publication! It really means a lot. I couldn't find a way to DM you through this platform, so I'm posting my thanks here! <3
You know, Jeremy, I resonated so much with the phrase "key fundamental." And the funny thing about key fundamentals like that is that they not only make us kinder to other people, they also selfishly make our OWN lives easier. It's so much easier to not have to determine who to accept and when. And instead just start from a place of letting them be who they are and discover their own truth. Thank you!!
Agreed 100% 😁
I love this. It's exactly what parents, like me, need to keep in mind. My twin sons are 21. I'm grateful that they're still alive--my older brother died just before turning 21. And I hear you on the negativity that surrounds them both in liberal circles and in society at large. There's enough to fear without parents' adding to it. In parental solidarity, I am, sincerely yours, Anita Thanks!
Anita, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts — especially considering how deeply personal they are. You really nailed it: there's enough fear. More doesn't serve us.
Fantastic point.
Thanks Courtney, and thanks for reading!
Loved it. Shared on Facebook, too. Want your idea to spread!
Totally understand where you’re coming from. I have 3 young adult sons all still living at home. None of us watch or listen to the news anymore. We hear about what we really need to know through others. (We are not unaware) There is way too much emphasis on the bad stuff that’s happening and nowhere near enough being shared about the good stuff happening (on mainstream media) I now get a paper called The Happy News by Emily Coxhead for my fix of positivity and optimism
Tracey I love this! And I'm definitely going to look up "The Happy News." I don't think that limiting our intake of negative information, particularly when it doesn't inform or serve us, makes us unaware. Traditionally, the sharing of news was about keeping community's safe — we told each other where the water could be found and where a poisonous snake was hiding. But once we know where the snake is, constantly screaming about it only serves to make us fearful — not more informed.
Taylor, I'm so happy I found this Substack. I really love what you're saying here. My wife and I were talking about whether or not we wanted kids before we got married. She wants kids, but has this nagging feeling that bringing a human being into this world might be cruel, because we're headed for ruin in her eyes. She is INSANELY smart, well-educated, and grew up in a hellscape of her own in Mexico. I don't blame her for having this view of the world, but I'm firmly on the side of being optimistic because if we lose our optimism, we are most certainly doomed to destroy ourselves in some form or another. We watched Interstellar recently and I love that quote from Cooper "We used to look up at the sky and wonder at our place in the stars. Now we just look down, and worry about our place in the dirt." I'm subscribing, Taylor. Thank you for lending useful messages to the world!